a maze of words leading to …?


bank

Encyclopaedia Avalonia Vol. X …

Minted by the Bank of Avalonia (motto: ‘A Unique Fiscal Experience’[1]), the fumit is the currency of choice within Avalonia. The clandestine printing and circulation of these illicit bills began immediately after the declaration of the Free State of Avalonia – see Avalonian Independence Party – at Worthy Farm, Pilton, on June 23rd 1985.

The fumit is named after the droppings of a mythical beast hunted through the forests by King Pellinore (pace the legends of King Arthur and friends) … droppings which were the only physical evidence of the animal that he was ever doomed to see.

Although regarded by most observers as a natural and inevitable consequence of Avalonian statehood, some suspect that the minting of fumits is actually a plot by A.P.P.L.E to bring down the global capitalist system … see the Avalonian Book of the Dead for more details.

When proffered for use outside of Avalonia, fumits are often viewed with suspicion by shop staff and the like. They see the Dragon of Avalon motif and note the Bank of Avalonia imprimatur, yet take pause at the portrait of the Queen wearing what appear to be wire-frame, National Health Service spectacles. The travellers from Avalonia remain calm in the face of such hesitation, assuring the vendor of the currency’s legal status: “It’s a bit different, but really just like the Scottish pound note”.

It should be noted that, in 1994, a new, rival currency began circulating in Avalonia. Named the GEBO, after the runic symbol (X) for giving and receiving, this challenger to the fumit sparked a heated debate, mirroring the arguments then taking place outside Avalonia concerning the pound versus the single European currency (the Euro).

Die-hard Avalonians maintained that their whole sovereign independence would be threatened if the GEBO was allowed to make headway. Others believed that “progress was progress” and that if Avalonia wanted to join the modern world it must bend with the times, knuckle down to reality and embrace the GEBO fulsomely.

This line of argument proved a disaster, however, since few Avalonian Glastafari – if any – had ever expressed the remotest soupçon of desire with regard to joining the modern world.

“Join the modern world?”, said one green-skinned eco-pagan contemptuously, summing up popular feeling, “I’d sooner have dinner with a Hedge Monkey” (see here).

With that pronouncement, all debate fizzled out and the long-term future of the fumit was secured.

[1] See http://www.unique-publications.co.uk

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