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The Bornabreds – EA Vol. II


peasants3 Peasants4

Encyclopaedia Avalonia, Vol. II …

The Bornabreds are a special case. Though born and bred locally, and despite their ranks including stout Glastonburgers (aka ‘peasants’), a few have crossed the Rubicon to become Glastafari. Others, perhaps with relatives to placate, have stopped short of such drastic action and moved sideways to become quite alternative [see “altered natives”, Encyclopaedia Avalonia, Vol. I].

Man X [name removed] is a prime example of the Bornabred tribal genre. Whilst he bravely sat on the management committee of the controversial Assembly Rooms, the internal committee minutes from this period note that he “… wanted to stress that he was not a Hippy but a ‘normal Person’“. Unhappily this claim to normalcy was severely undermined when his previous career as a military policeman at RAF Waddington was uncovered. Even so, Man X is credited with describing the quintessential existentialist dichotomy of all true Bornabreds when he said “Every time I get two or three miles away from Glastonbury I feel like going on for ever and ever.” Unsurprisingly, therefore, he is resigned to his popular nickname – “Bondage”.

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Avalonian Independence Party – EA Vol. I


Golden appleAvalonia

Encyclopaedia Avalonia, Vol. I …

The stated aims and objectives of the Avalonian Independence Party (AIP) are:

“… to declare the autonomy of the Free State of Avalonia, otherwise known as the Crystal Isle, The Holyest Erthe in England, Island of Transparent Water, Caer Pedryvan, Isle of the Strong Door, The Twelve Hides, Island of Glass, Ynys-witrin, Isle of Avalon, Isle of Avilion, Island of the Hesperides[1], Isle of Apples, Isle of the Blessed and the New Jerusalem.”

It is widely believed that the AIP has a secret underground wing – A.P.P.L.E (Avalonian People’s Popular Liberation Experience) – though senior party spokespeople deny this.

A.P.P.L.E – especially its Provisional High Command – may be euphemistically described as ‘less-political’ and ‘more direct’ than the AIP. However, the Provisional High Command, alleged publishers of The Times of Avalonia, deny their alleged rank and dismiss all talk of contact with A.P.P.L.E. Indeed, in Issue 6 of their (alleged) newspaper they described the organisation as “completely outside the control of any human agency”.

The Avalonian Independence Party:

  • Tribal refuge: Avalonia
  • Tribal chieftains (alleged): Provisional High Command A.P.P.L.E
  • Favourite colour: Apple Green
  • Favourite drink: Cider
  • Favourite food: Apples
  • Favourite song: Jerusalem
  • Favourite film: Independence Day
  • Tribal motto: Our Day Will Come

[1]  Where the Golden Apples of Wisdom grow, tended by the Goddess Hera.

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