Encyclopaedia Avalonia, Vol. II …
The Bornabreds are a special case. Though born and bred locally, and despite their ranks including stout Glastonburgers (aka ‘peasants’), a few have crossed the Rubicon to become Glastafari. Others, perhaps with relatives to placate, have stopped short of such drastic action and moved sideways to become quite alternative [see “altered natives”, Encyclopaedia Avalonia, Vol. I].
Man X [name removed] is a prime example of the Bornabred tribal genre. Whilst he bravely sat on the management committee of the controversial Assembly Rooms, the internal committee minutes from this period note that he “… wanted to stress that he was not a Hippy but a ‘normal Person’“. Unhappily this claim to normalcy was severely undermined when his previous career as a military policeman at RAF Waddington was uncovered. Even so, Man X is credited with describing the quintessential existentialist dichotomy of all true Bornabreds when he said “Every time I get two or three miles away from Glastonbury I feel like going on for ever and ever.” Unsurprisingly, therefore, he is resigned to his popular nickname – “Bondage”.
Man Y [name removed], gentleman dealer in exotic rugs and carpets, is another chip off the ol’ Bornabred block. Splendidly burning his local bridges, he first won his Glastafari spurs by suggesting that the main doors to the Assembly Rooms be painted day-glo green with pink spots. Since there was no stopping him now, he went on to throw open his land and house to ‘New Age travellers’. The villagers of Butleigh were confused, caught in a cleft stick of the type that is neatly carved by all true Bornabreds to catch their neighbours out. On the one hand the neighbours hated the travellers, yet on the other, were conditioned to defer to the actions of their social betters in the long-established tradition of village squirearchy.
Bornabreds hotly deny any knowledge of the in-breeding rumoured to occur in parts of the Somerset Levels.
The Bornabreds:
- Tribal refuge: The Somerset Levels
- Hobbies: In-Tribal Genealogy; Wearing Smocks
- Religion: Ancestor Worship
- Favourite colour: Bornabred Brown, slightly tinged with Red-Neck
- Favourite food: Glaston Burgers
- Favourite drink: Scrumpy
- Favourite sport: Hippy Baiting
- Tribal chieftain: The Glaston Baron
Spiral Scribbles 
Leave a Reply