Encyclopaedia Avalonia, Vol. XIX …
The Swami has an indeterminate number of followers and has lived an indeterminate number of lives … although his penultimate descent to the samsaric plane is examined in a forthcoming book – ‘An Incarnation of Swami Bharmi’ – by Master Bruce Garrard.
Whilst the Swami’s full titular name is ‘His Holiness Sri Ananda Jacaranda Swamiji Bharmiji Ji’, he is known to his closest acolytes simply as Swami Bharmi (the ‘h’ is silent, unlike the guru himself).
The Swami’s interest in Avalonia began when his legal adviser informed him, mistakenly as it turned out, of a massive influx to the area from Greenland. He realised instantly that only a spiritual power-centre of enormous potency could have induced these Inuits to abandon their blow-holes and head south. Curiosity piqued, he resolved to leave his far mountain ashram and question these sweaty immigrants.
His Holiness slipped into Glastonbury almost unnoticed, for his reputation receded him. And then, after 23 weeks of meditation atop the Tor (making ready to visit the settlers at Greenlands Farm), he descended to his very patient band of followers and established his reputation as a guru of true Avalonian pedigree by declaring, “Nothing Once Known is Never Forgotten”.
Swami Bharmi’s Ashram Acolytes:
- Tribal refuge: The Ashram
- Favourite colour: Bardic Brown
- Favourite Only food: A grain of rice (Ambrosia Creamed Rice during bi-millennial festivals).
- Favourite drink: Buddhaweiser Beer
- Favourite perfume: Lotus Oil
- Favourite car: Lotus Élan.
- Favourite TV programme: Highway to Heaven
- Favourite dance: The Tao Step
- Susceptible to: Lhasa Fever. Also Zenaphobia.
- Patron saint: Philip the Punter
- Tribal motto: ‘I am that I am’ (1st person singular). Otherwise translated as ‘The Swami is that he is’ (3rd acolyte singular).